My parents lived a comfortable life.
They had five children and lived in a middle class neighborhood in
Meadville, Pennsylvania. They were
married for 37 and a half years.
My father, Richard
Blanchard, died in 1975 of Addison's Disease.
He was 60. But mostly he died
because he didn't go to the doctor. He
was stubborn that way. I say this
because it is my impression is that this disease was treatable. The last time I saw him was in June, 1974
when I brought my first born, Sarah, to
visit my family in Meadville, Pennsylvania.
My mother, Martha
Blanchard, died in 2004 at 89. She had a
heart attack in 1988. She lived
alone. It was February and "felt strange" so she called for an ambulance to take her to
the hospital. The hospital called me and
I was on my way. Did you know you can
get from the Kirwan Heights Exit of I-79
to Meadville in 1 hour and 15 minutes in an 81 Pontiac station wagon?
Her heart attack
was followed by quadruple by pass surgery. The surgery was done in Erie because the
Meadville hospital didn't do heart surgery.
She was a good patient. She went
to rehab. She walked her dog. She had a good attitude. She took her medicine -- most of the
time. She had high cholesterol. She developed emphysema as a result of years
of smoking. She quit smoking sometime before all of this.
In 2001 my mother
had what was determined later to have
been a small stoke. She fell and it took
her 2 hours to get up. Her doctor asked her
how often her children dropped by. None
of us lived in town. My oldest brother,
Dick, lives in Sharon but at the time he was a long haul truck driver so he
couldn't just drop by. I lived in Pittsburgh
with my new husband, two kids
and my own business. I called several times a week. But that isn't face to face.
We looked at
independent living facilities and I didn't like anything that I saw. They just looked like hospitals with better
food. My sister , Deana, told me that
mom wanted to come and live with me.
I talked to my husband about it
and he said that his family didn't put family in homes. What he said to me at the time was, "Be
careful how you treat your mother, your children are watching."
My mother lived the
last 3 years of her life with me and Bob.
She had her own bedroom and a sitting room with her own TV and
phone. She made friends and went to
church. I was holding her hand when she
died. There isn't a day goes by that I
don't think about her.
So if your parents
didn't have cancer, who did?
Let's start with my
great-grandmother, Jane. She died
in 1961 when she was 90 and I was 12 years old. When I was 8 or 9 , Jane showed me a line
across where her breasts would have been.
But they were gone. She had
breast cancer. She had gotten it in the
1950's. I have been told by doctors that
women who get breast cancer in their later life doesn't mean that I am in line
to get the disease. I was reassured by
that one.
My aunt, Katy,
developed cancer when she was 79. I'm
not sure where it started, it may have
been her lungs, but it metastasized to her brain and caused her a great deal of
pain. Katy spent her 80th birthday in
the hospital. She had a special water
bed that helped with the pain. After a while, Katy
was moved from that room to anothermuch smaller room. I have never been really fond on how I thought the hospital treated my aunt. I thought they kind of ignored her. Just my impression. Katy went to stay with my cousin, Ann, after the hospital. Ann and her husband, Frank were to travel to
Meadville to get some papers and I was going to go to their house and sit with
Katy. But later that day, Frank called me to say that Katy had
died.
Shortly before Katy
died, my mother visited her in the hospital.
My dad and Katy's husband, Jim and died within a month of each
other. Over the years they had become
quite close friends. I will always
remember Mom saying to Katy as she sat down, was who she was going to vote for
(in the upcoming election). I sat at the
end of the hall crying because I knew it would be the last time my mom would
see her.
My sister, Georgie,
died in 2007 a month before her middle daughter, Charlotte, would be
married. She first developed breast
cancer in the late 90s. Georgie was in
the Army when it wasn't popular and rose to the rank of captain. She left the army after she got married. It was because she was a Viet Nam era veteran
that she went to the Atlanta VA Hospital for her treatments. She would always tell me that the doctors
wore two jackets. One said VA and the
other said Emory. She was treated with
radiation. Something she told me that
she wouldn't wish on her worse enemy. I
didn't think they still did radiation when she had it. Her cancer went away for a while. But it came back and this time one breast was
removed. I didn't know that there were
different kinds of breast cancer until Georgie got cancer the second time. I am not sure she ever really recovered even with chemo. The last time I saw Georgie she was on
oxygen. She was a smoker most of her
life and over weight.
Georgie's health
really started to decline in early 2007 and I felt if I ever wanted to see her
I had better get to Atlanta. So in early
February I called my niece, Martha, that if I showed up at the Atlanta airport
would she pick me up? She said yes and I
could stay with her. I went down on
Friday and had dinner with Georgie, husband, Charlie, younger daughters
Charlotte and Elizabeth at Martha's. It
was wonderful. The next day, my sister,
Deana came down from North Carolina. We
all went to Macy's and had pedicures.
Deana and I paid for it. It was
awesome! To top it all off, we had
dinner with our cousin, Patrice, at her house and had a great time. Sunday, I had breakfast with Georgie,
Charlie, Elizabeth and Martha at the Waffle House. Then I went to Georgie's house to visit some
more before I h ad to go to the airport. I cried all the way back to
Pittsburgh.
Georgie died in
hospice care surrounded by her family.
She was 63. She was buried in
the Georgia National Cemetery. Georgie
and I shared a bedroom as kids growing up.
We got our learner's permit at the same time but I got my license first. In fact when Georgie finally decided to get
her license I used to be the one to ride around with her and took for her
driver's test. When Georgie and Charlie
got married I was maid of honor. When I
got married the first time, Georgie was my matron of honor. I think of her often.
My uncle, Joe, my
mother's brother died October, 2011. He was 85 years old. During his lifetime he beat cancer twice that
I can recall at this time. I think there were two more times, but I don't
remember when. I do remember that when
we were all at my grandmother's memorial in July, 1990 that his face was all red. He said at the time he was being treated for
skin cancer. The second time was
prostate cancer. The idea that a person
could have cancer multiple times and come out the other side was an
inspiration. My cousins. Susan and
Patrice, held a memorial for Joe last May.
It was done with Masonic honors and very moving. Many of us spent the weekend in Meadville
driving around our old haunts and sharing memories .
My cousin, Patrice
was a life coach, yoga instructor and an award winning writer who spent most of
her adult life in Atlanta. Patrice
had presence that surrounded her that
was hard to explain. In September,
2012, our family lost Patrice to
cancer. Patrice had breast cancer and as
a result had a double mastectomy. She
had been cancer free for several years when the disease came back and attacked
her liver. I had seen Patrice in May
and she looked great so I was very surprised when I learned that cancer had
returned. Patrice had a support system
of very wonderful friends who made sure that she never felt alone.
